Hello,
I apologize for the length but this is incredible.
I just found out that my girlfriend has been cheating, lying deceiving me for almost a year. I do have a high moral sense and so how I found out pains me but is very relevant. This day she had been using my laptop and she accidentally had left it on her hotmail account open, this was not unusual, she would always be checking her emails at my place this way, now I understand why. When I went to turn it off, there in front of me was an email from Mr X. My girlfriend keeps all her emails on her hotmail, she has stuff going back to 2004. I do feel bad but from shock I couldn't help but read on, checking each entry.
In summary since October 2007 she met this Mr. X and started an affair, it went sexual very quickly. They took trips to Atlanta together, They went to the Hamptons together, They went to Barcelona, Spain together. She's met his father. and as recently, she's been spending more nights at his place which is nearer to her school than nights at her home or with me.
Now, I know this begs the question, where was I? About the same time I started my own business, as with many small businesses I became extremely busy. I could see her still maybe 2 or 3 times a month, usually we just went out to dinner. For the trips, she has family in Atlanta, when she went with Mr. X she told me she was babysitting her new niece for a month. When she went to the Hamptons, this was a summer house that was rented by one of her girlfriends. (I've met her girlfriends, this would not be unusual) When she went to Spain, this was a second trip to the Hamptons again with the girlfriends.
This was a constant stream of lies, I had my doubts many times but was so busy, most of the time I was thankful she wasn't pestering me about spending more time with her, - at first. Then around the second Hamptons story I got suspicious. I started asking round about questions or making some test remark each time she had a good excuse. One time I even met her for dinner near her school and offered to give her a ride, she refused saying she was staying with her girlfriend, I said that is on my way, she said she preferred to take a little walk and "read on the train" I thought that is so bizarre that it must be true. What she actually did was walk to Mr. X's
Regarding her school, I've been with her for a couple years even before this and it was not unusual for me to help her pay for school, about $1000-$2000 each month. Plus giving her nice presents on her birthday and so on, as a boyfriend does, but this was throughout the last year.
This last weekend I sent her an email with a few details of what I had found out. I did not make it a big drama nor did I come anyplace close to 'stalker' comments, just a few statements so that she couldn't refute and saying obviously I cannot see you or support you anymore on finding this out.
She called me very quickly, asking if I had gone through her emails or if I hired an investigator. I was flustered and said no, she ask if someone called me, when I didn't respond she settled on that as an explanation. I went with that too. Then she's pressing me for who called me, saying she has a traitor in among her friends and she's really upset about that. Then she asks if I know Mr. X's email, or his phone number or anything like that. I said no. But clearly she's concerned about me informing myself to Mr. X. When pressed about me, she said, well I just didn't know how to tell you. Very little apology, she was more concerned that Mr. X should not find out.
Presently, she's paranoid about someone among her friends that ratted her and pushing me because I won't tell her who it is.
Relationship therapist say just move on and forgive and forget but this is really bad, especially her attitude at the end, and given that I helped support her.
The legal system won't help, what do you think I can do? There has to be something.
Thanks